The end of any relationship can be sad; and when there are children involved it can be so much more difficult to deal with.
Suddenly you are juggling more balls in the air – a new home for yourself, working just as hard but your finances are becoming stretched and having to make time to find that special new person. This can all take its toll on a man both physically and emotionally. Well, you are not alone in this and there are answers.
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Most of my clients make the fatal mistake of focusing on what they don’t want and all the reasons why they cannot find their new partner. So the place to start is to put your energy into what you do want. Take some time to design your new life and how you want it to look and feel. You’d do this when planning a holiday, so why not also for something far more important? This is the first step in taking back control, otherwise things may slip away even further and you become a victim of circumstances.
Areas to consider are your health and fitness, happiness, work/life balance, relationship with your children, what your new partner looks like etc. Invest some time into doing this and write it out with as much detail as you can. Now take a good look at your new life and make a strong decision that you’re having it! It’s in moments like this that your future can be formed.
Relax your Mind & Start with a Stop
A relaxed mind works at its optimum. If you’re stressed due to work, issues with childcare, being short of time and so on, you need to find a strategy that helps provide clear thinking. How can you find answers in your life when you have several problems circulating around at the same time? It’s like trying to look through a storm; a whirlwind of problems. I’m certain you would agree that a clear and focused mind can help you find the solutions you’re looking for. You’ve proved it at work, so use this as a resource in your personal life as well.
Let’s start with a stop. Stop telling yourself you do not have enough time! Everyone has all the time in the world – it’s how we use it that counts. Get creative with making time for yourself and invest that time in a class or activity that helps you relax. Yoga or meditation classes are ideal and are often filled with single/divorced women looking to do the same. Now that catches two areas in one move. Remember, in order to think creatively you first need to have more of a relaxed mind.
Cash an Issue?
It’s understandable if helping to fund two households puts a strain on a man’s wallet. However, thinking in the wrong way about money can turn out to be a false economy. What do I mean? What you focus on grows. Telling yourself that you don’t have enough money only gives you more of the same. Just as with your time, you need to think more creatively. I explain to my clients that people often find the money to do the things that they value. Getting clear on how you want your life to be moving forward can help to re-align what you value in life and consequently what you are willing to spend your hard-earned cash on. Once again, clarity of thinking is vital here.
You also do not need to spend a fortune when taking a woman out on a date. If it’s a first date, meet her for a drink rather than taking her out to dinner. It’s less expensive and if you do not get on, you’re not stuck together for three courses! Do something different and stand out from the crowd. Take a stroll around a museum, an interesting exhibition or any of the many other events your local city puts on and often for free. Just take a little time out to research what’s out there. It’s easy and fun!
Women will not necessarily remember you for how much money you spent on them. However, they will always remember how you made them feel.